Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
