We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
