My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize