I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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