At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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