the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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