sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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