It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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