grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
