i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
