now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
