I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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