i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
