I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
