I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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