i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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