Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
