It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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