is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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