Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He better not be in your backpack
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
