i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
