8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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