i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
