I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
