I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
