i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
