He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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