We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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