I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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