3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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