The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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