Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize