Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

(410): View more from Maryland

engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"

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(503): View more from Oregon

i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text

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(912): View more from Georgia

I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her

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(+86): View more from China

Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively

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