we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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