living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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