laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
