U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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