I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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