Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
