what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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