This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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