Kiss
Puke
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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