I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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