You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
