when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
