Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she told me i tasted like america
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize