is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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