she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
