you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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