Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
