I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
