It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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