What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
