whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
