I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
